We encounter this all the time at The Control Room. It always makes Me sad that society has tried to cram U/us into such little tiny boxes. Sexuality is complex, just as humans are complex. There is nothing wrong with having submissive feelings and wanting to explore them in a safe context. I often say, "It's not like you're in your basement killing kittens or anything!" when confronted with a boy who feels a lot of sub shame. As long as the things you're exploring are consensual, it's ok to want something different than missionary-in-the-dark sex lives W/we've been led to perceive as "normal". The link below is to an article; it's a good read!
The Shame of Submission